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Musings by Snehal aka Fearless, a filmmaker with a hankering for technology and science.  

Day 8 of 100 Days of Inventions - Portable Cookies

When you visit most websites, they end up depositing these dirty little HTTP Cookies onto your device.  You are carrying around those buggers all day, unbeknownst to yourself.  Do you realize that when you search a Google Adwords enabled website, it remembers you visited by dropping a cookie onto your iPhone. Then when you're on the bus, innocently reading a blog that was Facebooked by your friend, an ad pops up and it's the same dildo you were browsing last night, FROM THE SAME WEBSITE!  You quickly try to scroll past the ad before your lover sees it, but she wants to read the blog too.  Oh no!  

privacy-cookies.jpg

Did you know that these cookies can travel with you and jump from device to device? Yup, if you have your phone set to synchronize your bookmarks and search history to your computer and iPad so that your overall browsing experience on any device is seamless; well then you already have a horde of cookies making round trips through your electronics.

Imagine that in the future, it's your implants that will have the HTTP Cookie infestation. As soon as you look at the logo of a clothing store, your internal micro-computer will search the web and find the appropriate data source.  Then it will interface with the shop at your current location and look up inventory.  This inventory will be cross-referenced with your size and shape.  If there are any suitable garments available, the computer will recommend some options and ask you if you would like to try something on.  You just think about it, and the computer knows you answered with an affirmative. By the time you walk in the door, the hostess is leading you to the trail room where the chosen garments will be brought to you.

Sounds great, right?  But imagine the abused brick and mortar, mom and pop shops that would go out of business if you could walk into such a boutique, get amazing service, walk out with nothing and instantly order though Amazonian.com and get same-day delivery in select locations without anything going towards the people that actually helped you look hot.  Well they found a solution for that... 

As soon as you scan the logo and poll the store computer, it drops a bunch of Cookies onto your implant. These Cookies identify the store owner as the agent who turned you onto that new outfit you want to purchase.  So even if you order online, the manufacturing company will know where you saw the clothing so the shop owner will get a cut of the profit.  This happens no matter how long you decide to wait before buying or where you ultimately get it from.  Every agent of the garment manufacturer will get a piece of the pie no matter where they exist in the chain of event which ultimately results in you looking fine as heck during the weekend. 

So go ahead and splurge away with your PayPal account.  Stretch your credit to the limit buying online, knowing that you're not going to kill the real shops you can walk into at the mall.   The side effect: stinking Cookies know everything you're doing at the mall.